Never Will I Be The Same Again
by xxQuixQuixBabixx
Summary: This takes place after New Moon. Bella is alone.. and feels that she needs to change... for the good. But will her change be succseful or will yet another vampire steal her heart or will the same one keep it.. Will she ever be the same?
1. Prologue

Hey guys its my first time writting a fan fic hope you like it!!

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**Prologue**

Well its been 2 months since i have last seen Edward Cullen and his family. I've been a mess without him. Since i depended on him so much that when he left i just basically shut down. I haven't talked to people that much i barley leave the house unless its to go to school or the grocery store.

Need less to say i don't look that well either.

I feel as though all my emotions have left with him and all I'm left to feel is pain.

I just wish he would have never left me. But I do understand why he left me. He was a **GOD **and I'm just little old plain Bella. Who can't take care of herself but depends on a vampire for her happiness. I don't even look that pretty. I was just one of the many human girls he plays with until he gets bored and leaves them to suffer.

Charlie thinks i need to forget him and move on. But he also is scared he can't stand to see me looking like this. But i can't help it... I miss him.... I miss the way he would hold me.. catch me when i would fall... laugh with me and the way he would sing me to sleep. The way he would kiss me so softly and carefully yet filled with passion and love.

But that was no love.. it was just him using me.

_I can feel you sorrows.._

_And i wish i could take the pain away._

_I wish you could feel the pain i have._

_The intensity that it carries._

_The stab of betrayal that i felt._

_The regret of the lost of your embrace_

_The great pain i felt when you said those 4 words_

_"I never loved you"_

_The great pain i felt when you walked away_

_But i couldn't bring myself to cry._

_That side of me left with you,_

_As all my emotions did._

_All i was left to feel was_

_The pain sadness_

_and emptiness i feel._

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Pleaseeee reviewwwww tell me what you think this is my first story!!


	2. Chpt 1: Change

_Her goes my first chapter!!!_

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**Chapter 1:Change**

I just woke up from another night of screaming in terror from yet another replay of the night he left me. I yawn and walk to go grab my bag of toiletries and head off into the bathroom for my morning ritual.

I take off my clothes and place it in the hamper. I turn on the shower to hear the sweet sound of my own personal song. I step in and let the hot water soak on my back. It feels so good. I can see the steam fromt the shower fogging up the bathroom. I grab my strawberry shampoo and message it into my scalp.. Then i think about how Edward said he loved the smell of me. He always said i smelled like strawberries and freesias.

Oh no I'm thinking of him again... all the memories we shared.. No its happening. I grab myself into a hug trying to hold myself up to keep me from crying. Then i feel the tears start to roll down my face.

I start to cry.. I cry because i remember all those things he told me. He said that i was beautiful. LOOK AT ME. I'M NOT BEAUTIFUL I'M HIDEOUS!! I scream from my thoughts. He would always say how i looked so perfect and that he was not. He is the perfect one. HE IS A FREAKIN GOD. And i am just plain old Bella.. I have no shape what so ever. I was and will always be that way I'm not perfect I'm not pretty I'm none of what he said i was. I'm ugly plain old Bella.

I grip tighter on myself as i start to think of more of the things we did together.. How we sat in "our" meadow. But then i remember that night in the woods...

Nooo its happening again i try and hold onto my self harder but i can't because i am still in the shower and the water is rushing down my body. My breathing becomes harder and my eyes are all watered up. I can feel my self going into hysteria's. I scream out and begin to sob. All to soon i start to hyperventilate.

I jump out of the shower and fall to the floor. My breathing becomes harsher and i can't take it anymore. I feel that welcoming black coming back. And i welcome it happily because here i can't feel the pain nor can i feel my thoughts revealing the truth to me over and over again.

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I wake up finding out that Charlie in fact was not at home meaning that he didn't see me in my wrost state.

I get up and wrap myself in a dry towl and start to blow dry my hair.. Ugh its so wavy. I just can't stand it sometimes.

I change into my black Tokeyo Hotel t-shirt and then some dark blue skinny jeans. I look in my closet for my black Ughs, but i can't seem to find them. I look all over my room and still i can't find them. So i look into my closet and I don't see them. I feel for them on the shelf but then something falls on my head.

I pick it up. NO WAY!! Its faith.. I can't believe it I thought Charlie would have gotten rid of it but i guess not.

I take Faith to my bed and i sit down. I remember how i got this teddy bear my grandmother gave it to me the night she died of cancer. That was 10 years ago when i was 7.

_Flash Back: May 21, 1998_

_I looked at my grandmother as i saw her laying in her bed at the hospital. I was crying without my own knowledge._

_"Sweetie don't cry grandma is going to a great place called heaven. I'm not dying I'm just moving on." she said._

_"Grandma i am going to miss you.*sniffles* Why do you have to leave so soon grandma." I cried._

_"Oh sweetie everybody has a time when they have to go and its my time. I can't keep the man up above waiting that long. Especially if he needs me" she told me._

_"But grandma i love you what am i going to do when i need you. What if something happens and your the only one who can heal me?" i asked_

_"Sweetie come here and wit on the bed with me" i climbed up n the bed and sat with her "now sweetie I'm going to give my favorite stuff bear okay?" i nodded my head not wanting to start to cry again._

_"Now sweetie i want you to take extra-spacial care of her okay?"i nodded again. "Her name is Faith i got her when i was in France. She helped me in my time of need. She was there to listen when nobody else was. She was my hope. She was my Faith. She helped me by guiding me because i knew some how i was going to be saved. See honey when i was in France i bad man had stolen me and kept me. I was very scared sweetie and i was only 29. He took me away from my friends and family. Who where on a vacation with me. But you see i grab her when he grab me but i didn't even notice i had her until i was locked up in his house. I was there for 2weeks. It was the worst couple of weeks in my life i was beaten and raped. But i had Faith with me and she gave me hope to let me know that one day all of this will change and i would get out of there."_

_"Sure enough I was able to get out of there because when i grabed the bear i never knew that she had paint dripping off of her and she helped led the cops to wear i was located." I looked at her with my listening eyes letting her know that i felt her pain and i was listening very carefully._

_"See honey she gave me what i needed to get through my situation. She has helped me through alot of things as i have grown up. But i want you to have her because she will be there when you need her." She looked up at me with tears in her eyes. I knew from that moment on that this was going to be the one thing that would keep me at bay. And the only thing in the world that could keep me alive inside when she was gone._

_"Grandma I promise that i will never EVER stop loving Faith i trust you and i love you grandma. And thank you soo much i will always cherish this bear for the rest of my life. Until that moment when i get to meet you." She looked at me and said "I love you sweetie oh so very much you are my pride and joy and I'm so happy charlie was able to have a wonderful child like you. I know you are going to make people happy sweetie i just know it."_

_"I love you to grandma *yawn* I'm sleepy grandma." I told her. "Well you just lay your little head on grandma. And remember that Faith will bring you joy happiness hope adn if you really need it change. Never forget that baby and i love you sweetie Good Night."_

_I looked at her through my long eyelashes with only love in my eyes " I won't grandma i promise. And i will always love you forever."_

_" As will i sweet heart. Forever and ever." I feel asleep in her arms as she did fall asleep and died right there next to me in her sleep._

_End of Flash back._

I remember what my grandma told me. And at that moment i noticed i was crying. I wiped my tears and walked over to my mirror and stood there looking at myself and Faith.

I told myself "I promised my grandma that i was going to be happy with you and i am Faith. I now know why i have you and i know that it is time for a change."

" No longer will i be the same as i was a month ago no i am going to be that Bella my grandmother wanted me to be happy loving and caring."

"And No i will never be the same."

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**Tell me what you think. PLEASEEEE REVIEWWW!! I'll update more often if you do.**

**- Love **

**xxQuixQuixBabixx**

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	3. Chpt 2: A new Image

_**Up here we go with number 3 please review more and i will surely try and post as much as possible.**_

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_**A New Image**_

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So I've decided that I am going to change right? Yes i did... But there is still one little problem... I don't know how. Yes i know i need to change my mind but i also believe that i need to change my outer image.

And that's exactly what i am going to do. I think first i want to go to the mall.... soo i can get some new clothes all the clothes i have remind me of them.... Yea I'm going to the mall.

Ugh... I wish i would have never misplaced that debit card Charlie gave me. Ugh let me call him and see if he knows where it is.

Ring.. Ring.. "Hello this is Charlie How may I help you" he asked.

"Hey dad its me Bella. I was wondering if you knew where I put my card?"

"Yea Bells its in my room on the dresser. Why what do you need?"he ask."

"Well I'm going to the mall to buy some new clothes."

"Wow! That's great. Which mall are you headed to?" he sounded so surprised and shocked. I am changing i would never go shopping if Edw- I mean if he was here.

"I am going to the mall in Seattle." i said with much pride.

"That's great honey i got to go the game is about to start. You have fun and watch out for yourself. I love you Bells. Bye."

"Bye dad. I love you to."

We both hung up I am so proud of myself. Now I'm headed off to the mall in Seattle I got the card and my truck crank up so happily. Guess its happy that I'm changing to. I know i am.

I pull up into a parking space. I grab my purse and look in it to make sure that my teddy Faith was in there because if she wasn't i might have cried my eyes out. I grab a hold of something and i realize its her. I walk into the mall and the first store i notice is Wet Seal. I walk into the store and I see walls of clothes. Hmm this may be much easier than i thought. but this only the beginning to my change.

I grab 4 shirts that were super cute. One of them was black with pink writing and stuff on it and the back of it was lace up. I thought it was hot and nothing the old Bella would wear. But I am the new Bella I wear things that seem revealing as long as i like them. Next there was this shirt with spongebob on it. I had to get it. I mean who doesn't love that yellow sponge even if he has.... "issues". Oh and one of the shirts said I'm a smart cookie and i had to get that i mean... Look at me i seem to smart. Then their was this cute black corset that looked to cute so i got it. I also got some black, blue, and white skinny jeans.(**three different pairs..)**

Next I went to forever 21 and i saw the most beautiful party dress ever. It was black and gray and it was halter top. I loved it instantly. I had to buy it! And then i saw i black hat to match it. I got that and also a cute sliver necklace to match.

After i left forever 21 i went to the shoe store and bout 3pairs of stilettos, 4pair of flats and the cutest Nike's.

I looked at my tab and thought i had did a really great job I would never look like old Bella again.

I was driving home when I passed by a place that really caught my eye. Something told me to turn around and go see what it was.

I turned my truck around and drove back towards the building i parked out front and i saw the big sign.

It was a boxing rink... I wonder why I would even think about coming here.

Then it came to me. I don't want to be the old Bella who needed someone to protect her. No. I would protect myself. I saved the number to my phone and drove home.

When i walked into the house i noticed Charlie wasn't home so i went straight up to my room. I put up all my clothes and i sat on my bed and started to think.

Hmm i could try out boxing then i would never need someone to watch me someone to help me with my clumsiness. Yes i would change. Allot at that. I am going to talk to Charlie about it later and call up the boxing rink.

Hmpf. I am going to change and yes I will have A New Image.

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_I was that girl who needed your help._

_That girl who couldn't help herself._

_That girl who needed you protection_

_Your affection, Your love._

_But now I am no longer that girl,_

_I am new _

_That girl is gone and the girl in her place _

_Has some things to say_

_I don't need your protection,_

_I don't need your love, _

_I don't need you sorrys,_

_I don't need your hugs,_

_Just do me a favor and listen well._

_That old girl you knew is gone _

_And the new one is here to stay._

_Because she has a new face_

_A new smile, A new face._

_And she has a New Image,_

_So please back away._

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Tell me what you think. REVIEWWWWWWWW PLEASE!!


	4. Chpt 3: The Rink

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The Rink

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I walked into the boxing rink and saw how i looked so different from everyone else... They made me feel so self conscious. They were all so well built. I was in awe when i saw a woman in the boxing rink.

She reminded me of me. She looked so fragile yet like she could take on the world. She also looked like she had been through allot and that she just didn't stumble on this place like I did. She looked like she had a reason to be here. Like she had been hert so many times yet she still moved on forward.

I just couldn't take my eyes off of her she was moving so well. Her formation was so good she threw a 3 punch formation at the guy and avoided his punches so well. But then I looked into her eyes and I saw pain, frustration, anger, and sadness. All the things I would see when I looked into my own eyes. I was so applaud. She looked as broken as I did. And then i saw it. I saw the silver bite marks on her neck. And i knew immediately why she was here.

"Hey lady why are you just standing around looking at Veronica like that" the man asked me.

"Huh. Oh I was just looking at her fighting she is so good." I blankly stated to him.

"I know she is one of our best fighters she has been here for 3months and she has grown to be such a good fighter. But why are you here?" he asked.

"Um.. I wanted to learn how to box... You know fight here..-

"Wait you want to fight here. Sweetie look around you look like a lost kitten in here." He was talking to me like i was nothing. And that angered me ALOT!

" I AM NOT A LOST KITTEN I CAME HERE TO LEARN AND IF YOUR NOT GOING TO TEACH ME I MIGHT AS WELL WALK OUT THE FRONT DOOR SINCE YOU ARE BEING SUCH A WHORE. DON'T YOU EVER TALK TO ME LIKE I AM SOME WORTHLESS PIECE OF TRASH! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!?" I looked at him so furiously I can hardly believe i said that but hey no one talks to me like that!

" Alright I think you would be a great fighter here. Come over to my office and we can get your paperwork done."

What did he just say to me. First he is saying I look like a lost kitten and now he wants me to sign up.. I'm so confused.

" Its okay i know your confused but i do that to all my trainees just to know how their attitude is. And your quite feisty yet unknown. Here take a seat." I sat down. "Now tell me why are you here."

"Well I was driving and this place just caught my eye and i turned around to find out why.. Really i don't why i stumbled upon this place."

"Well people just don't find places for no reason. I think you are here for another reason but it doesn't matter right now lets just get your paperwork done shall we?" I nodded my head. He was right I was here for another reason. I was here because i wanted to protect myself I wanted to change.

"Okay then miss. Whats your name?"

"My name is Bella. Isabella Marie Swan."

"Alright then how old are you?"

"I'm 18 years old."

"Okay now just fill out this form here and for you to train here it would be $100 a month."

"Okay i can pay that do I have to pay anything up front?" I asked as i handed him the clipboard with my information on it.

"No you won't have to pay it until your 5th session is over. Now how many times do you want to meet up here 3times a week or 4 or 5?"

"Um... I'll do 5times a week if you don't mind"

"Alright then i will see you on Monday- Friday. Okay?"

"Alright whats your name again?" He handed me his card. His name was John. "Okay i will see you tomorrow on Monday John."Alright Bella be here at 4:30 sharp understood?" I nodded my head yes and exited the building.

I got in my truck and drove home. I just couldn't stop thinking about Veronica she knew about vampires. And i saw the pain in her eyes... It was like looking at my reflection in the mirror just so much hurt.

I walked into the house. I heard the tv on and I saw Charlie sitting on the couch.

"Hey dad guess what?"

"What Bells"he asked looking into my eyes.

"I stopped by the boxing rink and well I'm now training to become a boxer!"

"That's so great Bells. I'm proud of you. Also how was the shopping trip?" he asked quizzically.

"It was great I got some really cute stuff. Did you eat?"

"Yea I ate over Billy's."

"I'm going to turn in a little early see you later dad."

"Night Bells."

I walked upstairs with my bags and started hanging my clothes up. One i was done I grab my bag and went to go take a shower.

Ahhh the shower felt so good it released me from all of my horrible memories of the events from the past. I then started thinking about that girl...Veronica I wonder how she got those bite marks... Well i know how but why?

I know how i got mine but she seems so hurt but like me she tries to hide the pain from others. But I can see it because I am feeling the same way. I feel that hurt from when Ed- They left. It just kills me I thought they loved me...

And with that one thought I started crying. I was huddled up in the corner of the shower crying.

I remember how he use to tell me he loved me. But he didn't mean it. Or how he kissed me.. But he was only using me.

And I thought his family loved me... Well they showed it very well. Emmet acted as thought I was his younger sister.... Once again he was just acting.

And Jasper he was distant but he seemed to try and show he cared.. But he to was only acting.

And Esme she was like a second mother to me... At least she would be the one to love me but she didn't....

And Carisile he treated me as one of his daughters.. He was only faking it.

At least Rosalie didn't lie to me she showed me how much she hated me.

But Alice.. She treated me like a sister. She was like my true best friend. I loved her like a sister and i thought she did the same for me but it was all a lie non of them loved me they just put on a charade while they toyed with poor little old Bella.

But you know what I'm not going to be the same old little Bella they thought I was I'm changing and oh its going to be for the better.

_The next day_

Ugh another day of school. I put on my black skinny jeans and the pink and black shirt i bought yesterday. With some hot pink stilettos. Went to go brush my teeth and headed down stairs. Charlie was already gone so i just grabbed a green apple and kept it moving.

I got in my truck and drove to school. Once i parked my car in the parking lot I started walking towards the building but once i entered i noticed something.... Alot of people where staring at me like.... like i looked good... And that's the exact impression i wanted.

"Hey Bella you look so hot today. Want me to walk you to class?" Ugh. I really wish Tyler would get the message I was not and am not into him!

"Uhhh No I think i can handle it." I hurried off to homeroom.

MY morning classes were a breeze. But it was really annoying how alot of guys just kept asking me dumb questions. I just wanted to yell at them and tell them i wasn't interested AT ALL! But i didn't want to be that rude so I just told them no.

Got to lunch and i grabedsome fruit and sat down with Jessica and Angela. I really wasn't paying attention to what they where talking about because i really didn't want to know.

All i could think about was that girl... uhhhh... Veronica.. yea that's it. I just kept wondering why did she have that bite mark. Was she in the same situation I was in or was there more to it.. I just really wanted to know. I would talk to her once i arrived at the rink today because i just really reallyyyyy wanted to know how she got those marks.

Lunch was finally over and my school day was coming to an end. I rushed out to my car because I forgot my bag with the stuff I needed for boxing at home. I drove as fast as this darn truck would let me. And you want to know how fast that was 65mph. Ugh sometimes I wish I would have taken Charlies offer for a new car. I finally made it home and practically sprinted to get my bag and back to my truck.

Woo I was going to make it there on time. I looked at my watch and it said 4:10. Fudge man I only had 20mins to get over there. I drove as fast as I ever had in my life to that boxing rink and made it there at 4:28.

Go me. I ran inside and met my instructur "Coach John".

"Hey Bella i see your on time. Hey Veronica can you show Bella here to her locker?" he yelled to her on the benches.

"Yea come on Bella." she waved over to me. I followed her to the locker room.

"Hey umm Veronica which one is mine?"

"The one right next to mine." She pointed towards mine and i opened it and put my stuff in. She just sat there thinking.

"Hey Veronica-"she looked up at me."What are you thinking about?"

"Oh nothing... Just stuff" She had that look on her face. The look of pain that I felt and at that moment I knew what I had to do.

"Umm Veronica I know about them to-"

"Know about what?!"

"Vampires. I can see the bite mark on you neck.... How did you get?"

"How do you know about them... And how do I know i can trust you?"

"Well I'll tell you my story... And then you can tell me yours. Deal?"

"Deal."

I told her what happened between me and Edward. It kind of felt good to tell some one but at the same time I felt the wounds reopening themselves. Once I was finishing telling her my story i realized that we both had tears streaming down our faces. We pulled each other into a hug and sobbed together for a good minute. Sh pulled away and wiped her tears.

"Okay I'll tell you what happened.."

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Soooo tell me what you think... REVIEWWW!!!!

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	5. Chpt 4: Romone

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Romone

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"I was walking home from my friends house on a Friday night. It was about 10:30 but I really didn't care because I had just finshed joking around with her and I was kind of hyped. So as I was walking home some guy just poped up in my face and his eyes were glowing scarlet. I wasn't afraid I was just shocked."

"He looked at me and said 'Why aren't you running why aren't you afraid of me?' And I told him if he was going to hurt me he would have already. He then said 'But I can kill you. I'm a Vampire are you at least afraid now?' I told him I wasn't afraid. He then pounced on me. 'Are you afraid now? Because at this exact moment I can snap your neck and drink you blood quicker than you can take in 3breaths of air.'he jus stared at me like he cared for me and I told him the truth. 'No.'"

"He got off me and pulled me up with him. He then picked me up and ran he ran for about 5mins with me pressed up against his chest. I was kind of scared but for some reason it felt like he cared for finally stoped and we were in a big room in a house he sat me on the bed and he was back in less than 10sec with a glass of water. 'Here you are going to have to stay with me so I can protect you. You can go to college still but you will have to take my car. I will bring you food and what ever else you need. My name is Romone. Also you can not leave me.' I was thinking to myself what the heck is wrong with this guy I just met him and he is treating me like a sick husband who is obbsessed with his wife." She laughed a dead laugh.

"He was so nice to me. He treated me like I was his wife. He made me happy. He said I made his dead heart beat again. He told me how he was changed. And how he found me. He also told me his power which was he was able to shape shift. It was kind of cool. "

"He also showed me he loved me. But he never would actually showed me showed me like sex. He said that he could hert me and he would never want to do that to me because he loved me so much."

"I spent about a year with him. I went to college came home and he would have my food ready for me. We would go out and stuff and come home and I would fall asleep in his arms. He would sing me the lullaby that his mother would sing to him when he fell asleep. He told me he was 123 years old but he was stuck in a 18 year olds body. He said he sometimes wished he was never turned he said he was on his way to the Volturi to join but he found me and he said he never wanted to leave me. But he did."

"He left about 3 1/2 months ago. He said he didn't love me and that he didn't care about me. He said I was just his singer and he just wanted to have me as a snack. I was so sad I was lost without him. I stayed in the house he gave me. He left me with a credit card. He said he would always keep it paid for me and he did. But I don't use it. I don't use anything he left for me except for the car. I moved on campus so that I wouldn't have to stay in the house he left me. It just held to many memories to many memories for me to bear. I was just broken and lost. I thought he loved me. "

He said that he would turn me into one of him when I was 19. He said that he would always be with me. He said he would never leave me"She was now sobbing.

"He told me he cared Bella. He- He said he - l0-ved me bu- but he lied. I miss- him. I think about him ever-erday. I want him to come back and I'm turning 19 in 3weeks. I want him soo bad-- I need him Bella. Half of my soul le-left we he le-eft me. I need him Bella." That's when she just fell on my shoulder and cried. We both cried.

We cried because we missed them. We cried because we thought that they had loved us. They lied to us. They told us that they cared and that they would never leave us. They said that thy had loved us but they didn't love us they used us. And now we are suffering because we thought that we could trust them. But it was all a lie. All of it.

"Veronica you know what we are not going to cry over them anymore. We have each other. We can make it through this together. Just me and you. Now we're going to wipe our faces and walk out there into that rink and fight. We are going to fight for all the crap we been through. W e deserve better than this. We have cried for to long and now it is time we get our act together. I am tired of acting as though I need a Vampire to make it through life. But we don't any more we have each other. Lets show Edward and Romone that we are not the 2 broken fragile people we were when we were with them. No we are two strong women who deserve beter." She looked at me through her watery eyes and nodded.

"Yea your right we will. Come on lets go out there before John kills us both for being in the locker room for 30mins."She laughed a little but she was still a little shoken up from our stories.

We walked out there together hand in hand. We both went our seprate ways and did our warm ups and work outs. John started teaching me different ways to do punch combinations and blocks. Once our training was over she took her car that Romone gave her and went to her dorm room and I drove home.

All I could think about was how myself and Veronica where so alike. We both went through the same situations yet we both are so alike. We both loved and still love Vampiers. We both had shared the same type of efection for them. But deep down inside we both knew that what we were going through wasn't good for us and that we needed to stop before it was to late.

We said we were going to change.

Yes we were going to change.

And yes I don't need a guys shoulder to lean on.

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Tell me what you think sooo....... REVIEWWWWWW:)


	6. Chpt 5:Hes Back,With a New Friend

I'm soo sorry i haven't updated lately but i've been busy with school work.

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**_He's Back, And He has A New Friend_**

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I woke up the next morning and I felt proud of myself like I just accomplished something major in my life and I have. I have finally given in to the fact that I don't love vampires anymore.

Well I love them…. But I don't need them. I can be my own person now and depend on myself instead of needing some else. I don't need Edward anymore. I can even think about him not without reacting so harshly. I have no need to hyperventilate whenever I think about Edward. I can just be my normal self and know that he is gone and that's all there is to it.

He's not coming back and I know that. And I know accept it.

Yes I did love him but I didn't feel equal to him. I felt as if I was the peasant and he was the god but now I feel nothing towards him because I don't need him anymore I have myself.

Me. And that is all I need.

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I got out the bed and went to go take a shower. For the first time I turned on the radio in the shower. And one of my favorite songs came on.

**Mum mum mum mah  
Mum mum mum mah**

I picked up a shampoo bottle and start singing.

**I wanna hold em' like they do in texas, please  
Fold em' let em' hit me, raise it baby, stay with me  
Luck and intuition play the cards with spades to start  
And after he's been hooked i'll play the one that's on his heart**

**Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh  
I'll get him hot, show him what i've got  
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh  
I'll get him hot, show him what i've got**

I start dancing.

**Can't read my, can't read my  
No he can't read my poker face  
(she`s got to love nobody)  
Can't read my, can't read my  
No he can't read my poker face  
(she`s got to love nobody)**

**P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face  
(mum mum mum mah)  
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face  
(mum mum mum mah)**

**I wanna roll with him a hard pair we will be  
A little gambling is fun when you're with me  
Russian roulette is not the same without a gun  
And baby when it's love, if its not rough it isn't fun**

**Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh  
I'll get him hot, show him what i've got  
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh  
I'll get him hot, show him what i've got**

**Can't read my, can't read my  
No he can't read my poker face  
(she`s got to love nobody)  
Can't read my, can't read my  
No he can't read my poker face  
(she`s got to love nobody)**

**P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face  
(mum mum mum mah)  
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face  
(mum mum mum mah)**

**I won't tell you that i love you  
Kiss or hug you  
Cause i'm bluffin' with my muffin  
I'm not lying  
I'm just stunnin'  
With my love-glue-gunning**

**Just like a chick in the casino  
Take your bank before i pay you out  
I promise this, promise this  
Check this hand 'cause i'm marvelous**

**Can't read my, can't read my  
No he can't read my poker face  
(she`s got to love nobody)  
Can't read my, can't read my  
No he can't read my poker face  
(she`s got to love nobody)**

**Can't read my, can't read my  
No he can't read my poker face  
(she`s got to love nobody)  
Can't read my, can't read my  
No he can't read my poker face  
(she`s got to love nobody)**

**Can't read my, can't read my  
No he can't read my poker face  
(she`s got to love nobody)  
Can't read my, can't read my  
No he can't read my poker face  
(she`s got to love nobody)**

**P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face  
(mum mum mum mah)  
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face  
(mum mum mum mah)**

**P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face  
(mum mum mum mah)  
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face  
(mum mum mum mah)**

**P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face  
(mum mum mum mah)  
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face  
(mum mum mum mah) **

Once the song was over I turned off the shower and the radio and got out of the shower. I grabbed my towel and wrapped it around my body and looked at myself in the mirror.

My mahogany brown hair was wet and wavy. It went down to the middle of my back. I had prominent hips and nice legs.

My face showed my emotions and at the moment it looked like it shined from my happiness. I looked so different. A couple of days ago I would have looked as though the world was ending and I was the only one suffering. But now it's different.

I'm happy.

I actually know how to defend myself thanks to Coach John.

But the truth is I do feel better about myself. I don't feel like that un-confident and disconsolate person.

* * *

I got in to my truck and head over to the gym for some morning exercise. As soon as I pulled up to the gym I saw john with a very angry look on his face.

"Bella do you know what time it is?"

"Uh…. No" I was so nervous he looked as if he was ready to kill me.

"Its 10:00 when you were suppose to be here at 9:00am."

"I'm so sorry John I lost track of time."

"Well I need for you to go get change and I want you to go out back and run 4laps around the track and if you are not done with everything in less than 20mins I will have you doing pushups all day. Understood?!"

I nodded my head really fast and ran into the changing rooms. I think I was done changing in less than 5mins. I grabbed my IPod and ran outside to the track.

While I was running I saw Veronica running also. I ran faster to catch up to her.

"Hey VV why are you running?"

"Ugh. I pissed off John and he told me to go run off my issues before he makes me do sit up routines all day. Why are you running Bells?"

"I was an hour late and John told me to get changed and run 4laps under 20mins or he would have e doing pushups all day."

"Yea I think he's having a bad day. But its whatever."

"Yea hey I'll talk to you after my session VV I don't want to piss off Johnny Boy even more than I already have."

I jog into the gym and I started my session with John. He was really pissed with me. He made me do each relay like 10times.

Ugh I was so happy when my session was over. I walked to the changing room and saw VV.

"Hey VV how was your session?"

"Horrible I had to do like a thousand and one sit ups just because I said 'John am I done with my laps'"

"Oh wow he made me do relays over and over again. God I need a message."

"Hey I know this place we can go to. You wana come?"

"Sure. I'll follow behind you in my truck."

* * *

We got to this huge place called _Spa Saleion. _It was huge and beautiful. I got out of the truck and walked over to Veronica's car.

"VV I don't know how I am going to pay for this."

"It's okay Bells I got you. Romone has me an account here that he pays..." She got quieter. I knew what that meant she thought about Romone and this always happens.

"It's okay VV. Come on we don't wana wait."I started running up the stairs and she followed behind me. When we finally made it inside I sat down while VV got our stuff done.

She walked over to me and said "Hey Bells come on they got our messages ready in the back."

I followed behind her as we made our way back to the changing rooms. This lady handed me a white robe and told me to put it on. I did as I was told and changed into it. Next she lead me and VV into this room.

"VV this is too nice of you. You have to let me pay you back."

"No Bells its okay I did this because you are such a good friend. Think of it as a best friend present."

I smiled and nodded at her. Then these to guys walked in the room. And OMG they were HOT!!

I turned and looked at VV and smiled and she smiled back. WOOOO these guys were FINE!

They told us to lie down and they started giving us our messages. The message felt so good. I fell asleep about half way through my message.

"Bella WAKE UP!" VV started shaking me like a rag doll.

"I'm a wake. That message felt so good. I must have nodded off."

"Yea it did and yes you did. But its okay come we need to go change its like 9:30."

We went into the changing rooms and got dressed. VV went to the service desk and paid the people while I waited.

For some awkward reason I felt like I was being watched. I turned around and all I saw was VV paying the lady.

Okay weird… But I will be okay.

"Hey VV I'm hungry want to go Port Angles and get something to eat?"

"Yea that sounds like a great idea. I'll follow behind you in my truck kay?"

"Kay that's cool." I got in my truck and drove to Applebee's.

I got out the truck and met Veronica at the door.

"Hey VV what do you want to eat?"

"I don't know I fell like piggin' out if you know what I'm sayin?"

"Yea me to and I want a drink.. Hmm.. I think I'm going to get a hamburger, fries, and a strawberry decree."

"Yea I'll get the same thing. Hey waitress we're ready to order."

We ordered our food and started drinking.

* * *

"Omg!! VV you know who keeps hitting on me at the gym?"

"Who Bellie Bells?"

"Victor. It's so funny. He was like 'Hey Bella you wana go out sometime?' And I was like umm NO! Victor you must be crazy!"

"I know his breath be kickin'!" We both started bursting out laughing.

"Hey Bella you ready to go?"

"Yea I don't want Charlie to have a cow. Hey can people have cows?"

"I don't know Bellie. But if they can Charlie will be havin' one."

We walked out of Applebee's all drunk and stuff. And we were laughing so hard about this lady and her dog.

"Hey Bellie lets go for a walk."

"Okay lets drive our cars to the park and then walk over there."

She nodded and we drove over there.

"Hey come on VV lets race."

"Alright on my march get set go"

I ran as fast as my feet could let me. I was running and it felt good. I felt so free.

Out of nowhere Veronica ran into me.

"Hey VV why did you run into me?"

"I don't know Bellie I saw something but I don't know what it was."

At that moment 2 men appeared in front of me and Veronica.

"Hello love. I missed you."The man spoke. I couldn't see him though but I felt some one near me and it wasn't him.

"Romone… I thought you left me." VV sounded so sad.

"No Love, I left you a note, I told you I was coming back but I had to go speak to the Volturi so they wouldn't kill you love. I would never leave you intentionally."

"I didn't know that. I missed you." Then at that moment Romone picked VV up and kissed her.

VV got her love back.. but I didn't. He didn't leave her on purpose like Edward left me. He loves her but Edward doesn't love me.

I started to hyperventilate. I felt the wounds reopen. I couldn't hold it in anymore.

I fell to the ground and I cried. I cried for every moment that he and I shared. I cried for the times he held me and the times he was afraid to hold me. I cried because I knew he didn't love me.

And he never would…

I could hear voices in the background. I could hear VV trying to console me. But no one could.

I could feel the blackness inviting me in and I was going to accept it.

* * *

"Bella please wake up. I love you. Please don't leave me Bella. You're the only best girlfriend I have." I could hear Veronica pleading for me in the back ground. I could hear her tears. But I couldn't open my eyes enough to tell her I would be okay. I couldn't even talk to her to let her know that I wasn't dead.

But I felt as if I was dead. And I wish I was.

"Veronica she is waking."

"How do you know Eros?" I could hear the hope in her voice.

"Oh I forgot you do not know my power do you?"

"No.. I don't." Yet I could still hear the sadness in her voice.

"My power is to feel some ones presents but it's a little bit more complicated _Il mio bambino_." (my child)

His voice was so beautiful. I just wanted to lie down all day and hear him speak to me.

I tried to open my eyes then just to see how beautiful he really was.

Once I opened my eyes I could see Veronica wrapped up in Romone's arms crying while he is trying to calm her down.

"Well hello there Bella."

He was built up very well but not as much as Emmet. He was wearing a black shirt that clung to his body oh so well. And his face he had god beauty like Edward but toned down with black hair. He was just so beautiful.


	7. Chpt 7: Eros

Sorry i havent been updating this story but i just wasn't feeling it for a while and also i'm just not myself latly but i will try and update as soon as possible and no i don't own twilight.

* * *

**_Eros_**

* * *

_Recap: Once I opened my eyes I could see Veronica wrapped up in Romone's arms crying while he is trying to calm her down._

_"Well hello there Bella."_

_He was built up very well but not as much as Emmet. He was wearing a black shirt that clung to his body oh so well. And his face he had god beauty like Edward but toned down with black hair. He was just so beautiful._

was gorgeous.

"Wh-who are you?" It hurt to speak but I wanted to hear his voice.

"My name is Eros _mio amore." _He sounded so sexy when he spoke in Italian.

I was just about to speak when he stopped me with his finger.

"Shh _mio amore _your throat hurts when you speak and I don't want you to be in pain _mi amore."_

I sighed not wanting to refuse his proposal.

I allowed myself to fall into the curve of his body and relax.

Soon enough I was drifting back to sleep but I could hear someone..

Someone singing to me…

In…

Italian.

I woke up in a bed that didn't belong to me. It had blue sheets on the bad and a black covering the room was design in blue and black it was nice.

I looked at the alarm clock next to the bed and I saw that it said 10:30.

Damn I slept this late and its Saturday but it doesn't matter to me I fell asleep in the most beautiful pair of arms.

I got out of the bed and tried to walk to the bathroom but to my guess I had not succeeded.

After about the 10 step I stumbled to the floor but soon caught by Eros.

"_Mio amore _are you okay?"

I nodded my head yes as he steadied me.

"What were you trying to do?" He asked with curious eyes.

"I was trying to go in the bathroom so I could take a bath." I said and once I realized what I said I blushed a very bright red.

"Oh love why don't you lay down and I will get your bath ready for you."

Before I could even say anything he ran into the bathroom and quickly after that he was back in the room getting my…

Bra and panties!

And a second later he was back.

"Your bath is almost ready love. I'll be back in a second with your breakfast."

He picked me up and carried me to the tub.

He sat me on the toilet and quickly closed the door.

For a second I thought he was going to undress me but I believe he is more gentle than that.

I undressed myself and sat in the tub.

The water felt great and it took all the stresses away in my body soon I felt myself just falling to sleep.

But then Eros the god walked in and sat on the toilet.

"Love I brought you some fruit I didn't want you over feed yourself." He had a try full of green grapes, watermelon, green apple slices, and strawberries.

It was like he knew all of my favorite fruits.

But wait he has been calling me love all morning.

How didn't I notice that earlier?

But oh well I'll deal with that problem latter I just want to relax and eat my fruit.

"Thank you." I was just about to grab a piece of fruit when Eros placed a grape in my mouth.

I kind of jumped with surprise but I looked into his eyes and my body just melted it's like I've known him all my life and I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with him.

"Would you like me to continue feeding you love?" He asked looking straight into my eyes.

I nodded my head yes and he continued feeding me.

I felt so different staring into his eyes I felt like something that was missing was being replaced and it felt good…

I felt loved.

My life felt like it had when Edward was here but a little bit better. I knew how to protect myself and I knew what life was like with a vampire but now it felt like it was going to be different.

I felt as though I didn't need Edward anymore.

Eros finished feeding me and he began to wash me.

His hands felt so right on my body.

They felt so…

So… I couldn't think of it but I didn't want him to stop.

He picked me up out of the tub and dried me off.

He rapped me in the towel.

Once he was finished he looked me in the eye. And that's when it happened..

He kissed me… and I kissed him back.

His kiss was filled with promises and understanding.

Once I pulled away he looked up at me.

"I love you Bella I will not treat you like Edward had I will show how much I love you every day I will kiss you all over just to prove it. I will always be here as long as you want me to be here." His eyes showed nothing but the truth.

I just stared at him.

"I will leave if you want me to." His eyes then dropped.

"No I don't want you to. I love you to." I said and kissed him again

* * *

So what do you think i know this is the most lovey dovey chpt i have written but i kinda like it... i t makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside because its so happy.

But soon you will find out about Eros past and what his power is... and why does he love Bella?


End file.
